My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This book was recommended to me by a coworker after a discussion re: current neo-nazi skinhead activity in Winnipeg, Manitoba. He’d been an undergraduate student at University of Alberta during the height of the mid-80s skin movement (both racist and punk) and had a lot of experience observing the movement as a punker.

Kinsella has cast light on a seemingly wide-spread and well-developed network of hate and violence in Canada that holds strong ties with American leadership of the KKK and other racist hate groups. The fact that these groups exist and thrive in Canada despite the general population’s apparent disagreement with their beliefs implies that Canadians have a much larger issue with racism then is obvious. In recent history Heritage Front candidates have run for office and garnered 13% of the overall vote despite public distaste.

This network of hate has had more than 100 years to develop from straight-forward white supremacy into a complex series of groups inclusive of Nazism, “national socialism”, white supremacy, hate towards Christian groups (Catholicism & the United Church of Canada, notably), women, abortionists, atheists, and more. The network is now essentially a catch-all for socio-cultural, religious, and political right-wing extremism that has no basis in fact. However, the movement must hold a compelling argument for certain segments of people, including members of the Canadian military and members of major political parties including the Former Progressive Conservatives, Reform Party & Canadian Alliance.

While I was fascinated with Kinsella’s work, I wish he’d had the opportunity to propose potential solutions to the ongoing solicitation of new membership for hate groups. Perhaps suggestions for legislation that would bar members of these groups from gathering, legislation that conclusively bars active members of hate groups from the armed forces, legislation that avoids protecting hate groups, hate speech and hate publication under the guise of protecting free speech.

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The poor souls who’ve had to talk to me in real life since then know that Okkervil River blew my mind.  Totally.  I was entirely starry eyed, sitting on the ground [Why did we have to sit?  I still don't really get it, I don't think the bands dig it especially not at midnight.  Winnipeggers are too polite to start a riot, I suppose.] snapping photos like this was my moment to really experience something, and to catch the moment.  The next day I got to a side-stage two hours early to grab a great seat for the Okkervil workshop with another fave, Great Lake Swimmers.  I thought two hours would be enough, but EVERYBODY was there and we were still 4 rows (of tall-sitters!) back. 

Anyway, it was pretty epic.  I can’t even bring myself to tone down the loser commentary right now.  It’s all I’ve been listening to for the past 2 weeks (with the small addition of A.C. Newman’s new album, Get Guilty) and I love it.  And, disclaimer time, my boyfriend totally had dinner with Will Sheff in Toronto in 2007, and I think that’s pretty fuckin’ cool.

Other highlights of the festival?  I really dug C.R. Avery who did a crazy amazing beatbox set inspiring our group to follow him desperately around the concertgrounds for show after show after show (he opened for Okkervil as an inbetweener short-set).  Also really enjoyed Josh Ritter, Iron & Wine, Xavier Rudd [There were glowsticks, dancing, and hippies.  It's impossible to hate Xavier Rudd in that sort of environment.], and Great Lake Swimmers. 

There was also the uh, somewhat unsettling aspect of camping out in the festival campground.  Winnipeg seperates the camping crowd into two groups: Quiet Campground and what I’ve decided is Mayhem Campground.  Quiet Campground has quiet hours, there’s no liquor onsite, and perhaps their portapotties were cleaner.  I wouldn’ know.  We chose Mayhem.  It was fun until about 3am each morning, when I really wanted to sleep and THOSE FRIGGING HIPPIES WOULDN’T STOP BANGING THEIR BONGOS.  In retrospect perhaps I was a bit harsh on the bongo bangers, but it was impossible to sleep. 

Clearly we needed more drugs at our campsite, cause everyone else was doing just fine with the UV stickman-on-stilts fighting the giant spider (this seems ridiculous even to type) and the bongos and the poi.  I’m not sure if I’d put myself through that again for two reasons: 1) It went down to 3C one night and that’s too fucking cold for camping and 2) I don’t know if the crowd I went with was the best choice.  I felt like old man winter with a bunch of 20 year olds.  OLD.  As in, they had just finished high school the year I started my masters degree.  Old.

That said, I totally already conned people into volunteering next year and we’ll set up camp somewhere else (preferably distant from bongos) and we’ll stalk down amazing performers, eat amazing local foods, and drink wonderful, God-like beers in the summer sun of our prairie home.  It was a beautiful thing.

If you’re curious, my favorite Okkervil album is Black Sheep Boy (+ Appendix) and I think you should buy it.  I’m also totally recommending A.C. Newman’s Get Guilty and Great Lake Swimmers’ Polaris nominated Lost Channels (however, I love the track Various Stages from an earlier release).

AC Newman – The Heartbreak Rides

Okkervil River – No Key, No Plan

AC Newman – Prophets

Okkervil River – Last Love Song for Now

But there are always little things to be thankful for.  I have 75 pages written, I have a work visa for the UK in the works, I got accepted to a few PhD programs, and I have tickets to the super awesome Winnipeg Folk Fest starting this Wednesday with none other than Elvis Costello opening the show!  Notable others I’m psyched to see: Bahamas , Bell Orchestre, Mark Berube, Neko Case, Dala, The Deep Dark Woods, Great Lake Swimmers, Hey Rosetta!, Iron & Wine, Okkervil River, Steven Page formerly of Barenaked Ladies, and 2/3 of the awesome Wainwright family (Loudon & Martha)!!! I’m particularly psyched to be seeing Okkervil River but GLS has a special place in my heart ever since I saw them at the Black Cat in DC.  The concert was low key but has stuck in my head for the past two months.

I’m camping out with a group of friends and I’m pretty psyched.  It’s my first festival camping experience and the lineup is flat out awesome.  Cannot complain. Four days of awesome music, rainboot wearing (I’ll be wearing my Hunter Wellies to bring a little bit of Glasto to Manitoba), beer drinking Canadian fun!

Erin’s Essential Folk Fest Playlist:

Bahamas – Lonely Loves
Okkervil River – Song Of Our So-Called Friend
The Deep Dark Woods – All The Money I Had Is Gone
Great Lake Swimmers – Your Rocky Spine
Barenaked Ladies – Lovers In A Dangerous Time
Iron & Wine – Communion Cups And Someone’s Coat

(Another awesome Canada Day Playlist here)

Truly, Jack Layton (@jacklayton) was a pleasure to show around the library.  At this point I’ve been on a ton of tours, some pretty good, some pretty shitty, but this one was great.  Mr. Layton was really interested in our holdings, in the history, and in the (incredibly beautiful) structure itself.  It’s great to see politicians being real people (at one point, when pulling out his Blackberry, he said, “I’m not being rude, I just have to call my mom!  She’ll be so excited I’m here!”) and enjoying simple beauty.

On a deeper and more professional level, it was important for me to see the leader of my party being genuinely passionate about my job, about the places we keep knowledge, and the people who are the curators of history.  The NDP often cite and prioitize libraries as fundamental social institutions in Canada, and it was gratifying to see that interest and value in person, even when not IN Canada.

As of June 23 I’ll be back home in Winnipeg, finishing up my thesis.  It’s something I’ve been dreading for months, putting pen to paper and knocking out 120 pages of health library theory.  But today I feel like my belief in my profession is renewed: my job is important not only to me, but to everyone else.

Holy shit is this ever overrated.  I’ve applied for a baillion jobs, mostly to get my name out there, and because a lot of good jobs are academic (my preferred sort of library) and they start in September.  This poses a problem because my (poorly designed) degree doesn’t get conferred until November 2009, so I may spend the fall and early winter of 2009 twiddling my thumbs and volunteering at Winnipeg Public Library (if they’ll have me) until I find gainful employment.

Hoping that experience really is the key to all library jobs, I’ve been really working on finding creative experiences.  I’m at L of Congress in Washington at the moment, and I’m going to drop off an application with DC Public Libraries tomorrow, hopefully to get 2 or 3 days of public experience a week.  I’m technically full-time at LC until June, so that will throw in another 2 months of experience, and public at that.  Public experience is GOLD (if you’re into that, I’m not really, but the job market sucks) and what the hell.  I can read to kids.  I used to adore reading aloud, I’m sure I could still pull out all the stops.

Also emailed a contact at U of M and asked if they knew of any summer positions, volunteer or other, within the library system.  She hasn’t gotten back to me, but I’m patiently waiting.  She’d be a good hookup and the university is more my style.  Knowing her getting back to me is unlikely at best, I filled out an application for the Winnipeg PL  volunteer system (stupidly not library-student friendly, probably because the prairies don’t have an accredited program) that my mom will mail in for me.  Hopefully from all of this I end up “employed” in some manner from March 30 until November 19, 2009 consistantly.

The whole idea of having a job is freaking me out.  But GOD do I ever want a job.  And a puppy.  And to not live with my parents again.

This is maybe a bit, uh, dull and legalese, but stay with me.  I think it’s important to ensure your writing remains your own and believe that ideas are property.

I’m looking forward to starting afresh here, and reestablishing myself as an author and life-writer.

Thanks for listening,

E

Hope in our Nations

Since the American elections took up so much of the collective conscience at the beginning of the academic year. And frankly, since the new administration continues to garner significant attention in the media (justifiably, in some cases) it’s easy to forget that other things are happening in the world outside of US politics, and outside of the ‘Change’ catchphrase.

While I believe that Obama is an enormously important figure for the world, I am starting to feel that his celebrity is impossible to maintain and also that his attributed persona is deflecting from all the instances where change isn’t happening in the first world. Earlier this week, Obama made his first international visit to Ottawa and, if you follow Canadian news at all you already know, people could not get enough of the new President. I know it’s not just us wacky Canuks falling over ourselves to fawn over the new guy WHO HAS A CANADIAN BROTHER-IN-LAW and totally likes us for our novelty pastries. I mean, hey, he’s even said he likes us!

While I’m as glad as anyone that the administration decided that Canada was the best choice for the first international trip, I worry that my country is to be among the first stops for G.W. Bush’s post-presidential speaking engagements. So while we laud our growing importance and re-emergence in North American political decision making, we’re also potential victims to growing Albertan conservatism (increasing polarity between the left and right in Western Canada makes me hesitant to highlight any other province – I’m a Manitoban and we’ve had a provincial NDP administration since 1999) and obviously continue to have enough citizens supportive of GWB to support a speaking engagement. Why hasn’t this been in the headlines? I do wonder if the Canadian press is working at counter purposes by sensationalizing the Obama visit and ignoring the Bush lecture – in ignoring conservatism and ignorant social policies do we allow their support to grow quietly? I’m not sure.

Obama & Harper in Ottawa this week

So while Obama is America’s number one hero, coming out ahead of Jesus, I wonder when these changes happen. It certainly couldn’t have been overnight that American’s abandoned In God We Trust for Yes We Can. Is change something transparent? Is change more than an attitude? Is change forced or earned?

In Canada, what does this mean to our government? Does it mean anything? Harper seemed to suggest that he and Obama, while perhaps not agreeing on many policy issues, have a lot in common. Because they’re both fathers of young families and both world leaders. Maybe that’s enough to have in common for Harper, but for me it’s certainly not moving. I certainly didn’t vote for the Conservatives in the past election, or in any election for which I’ve been eligible to cast ballot. So I can sit here, indignant and disappointed that Canadians don’t seem to have the same vigor for renewal and progressive approaches to public policy, because I didn’t vote in the party in charge, the party stagnating and spending. But someone did.

Just before Christmas there was a glimmer of hope. The FAIL federal budget as proposed by Harper’s Conservatives spurred talk of a so-called Progressive Coalition between the Liberal (under Ignatieff), NDP (Layton), and Bloc (Duceppe) which would have entirely flipped the balance of power and, in my opinion, better represented most Canadians. Of course Parliament was suspended and the Conservatives dodged a bullet of epic proportions because Canadians have a short memory, and there’s only so much excitement to be drummed up about a coalition involving separatists in non-Quebec provinces.

And now we’re back to the same old story. The budget survived. It was described as “recessionary, deficit-laden” and despite all this spending, still avoids adequately funding further education, health, and social services. Such a disappointment.

So while there’s all this talk about capital-C-Change in the world, I want to bring us back to our own countries and our own policies. There are similar stagnancies in the UK; David Cameron’s Conservative party has a real chance of besting Gordon Brown’s Labour party, which would be a (socially) significant step backwards toward right-wing social politics and would be the first Tory government in over a decade. In Canada we’re likely to suffer several more years of Harper’s ‘economics’ despite his proven inability to budget and his incredible unpopularity as a leader. Even in America, at this exciting time, proof of stasis exists: women in power are subject to unparalleled sexism, racism is alive and well (the Post cartoon, anyone?)…

So they say change is gonna come. I’m just asking when.

Train Song – Feist & Ben Gibbard on Dark Was the Night {buy the comp here – proceeds to benefit Red Hot Organization}

]]> http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/2009/02/22/so-many-miles-and-so-long-since-i-met-you/feed/ 0 whitehotretort hope-08-logo 64c9c05f-696d-4196-8f09-43a58d255c6cnewsaporg_t350 http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/gogirl-the-lame-response-to-the-non-existent-female-demand-for-upright-urination-or-something/ http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/gogirl-the-lame-response-to-the-non-existent-female-demand-for-upright-urination-or-something/#comments Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:27:51 +0000 whitehotretort http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/?p=4 ]]>

The GoGirl in all its glory

Today let me introduce you to the GoGirl [warning: their site has a series of lamely enthusiastic videos ending with the tagline: 'Don't take life sitting down!'].  It’s the answer to the prayers I didn’t even know I had!  A handy, funnel-like feminine urination device, (doesn’t that just roll off your tongue?) christened a FUD by the manufacturers, that just happens to come in BRIGHT PINK!

You know, for all those times you think, “JESUS H. CHRIST I could really go for a wee right now, but goodness if the loo isn’t vile!”

As someone who spent 36+ hours on a Bulgarian (death) train with facilities that are best poetically described as:  a large, jagged metal hole carved into the floor of a sleeper-cabin, complete with view of the speeding Bulgarian landscape.  And a lovely floor covering of OTHER PEOPLES FECES AND URINE from when they missed the hole because of 1) the dark (what, you think they put a light in these things?!), 2) a sudden jerking movement of the train, or 3) someone opened the door, because there were no locks…[longest run-on sentence ever]…I admit that sometimes I might have thought to myself, “I could really use a FUD”, but in general, I issue a WTF over there to the manufacturers of this totally unnecessary feminine product.

The marketing is reminiscent of the adlines used for birth control pills: cliched, overzealous, with just a smidgen of paternalistic, condescending misogyny.  I mean, WHO DOESN’T WANT TO PEE STANDING UP?  Don’t guys have it pretty sweet?  Really, why don’t we all just sign up for a catheter and a colostomy bag?  Why waste time making waste when we could be doing any of these! exciting! lady! activities!:

What kind of girl are you?!

Cause sometimes being a mom means you don’t have time to pee.  Literally.  And sometimes you just get tired of taking off your pantyhose every time you drink a Double Double on the way to your Stereotypical Creative Lady Job in “the City!”  It’s just so much hassle.

Seriously.  What the hell.  That’s all I have to say about that.

And for those who are curious, I peed all over myself in that train.  It was great.

]]> http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/2009/02/19/gogirl-the-lame-response-to-the-non-existent-female-demand-for-upright-urination-or-something/feed/ 0 whitehotretort gogirl girl2 http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/2009/02/18/like-a-boy-pointing-out-all-my-stretch-marks/ http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/2009/02/18/like-a-boy-pointing-out-all-my-stretch-marks/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:02:44 +0000 whitehotretort http://tongueslipsandfingertips.wordpress.com/?p=7 ]]>

Who are they to say this person’s work is an 86 and that person’s is 89? It is a terribly crushing and insecure system to start, the fact that students make it out alive with some usable skills is a credit to the human spirit. – A.K.

Admission time: I am suffering from crippling insecurity.

Insecurity about absolutely everything in my life. When I got a mark in my email this morning, I had to psych myself up for 30 minutes before clicking the message to open it – what if? You know? What if I was not good enough? What if my work made me look like a fool unqualified to be taking these classes? What if, somewhere in the comments, laid the equivalent of text-cyanide, a line reminiscent of one received in my 2nd year Major British Writers survey, “[Ms. E], your paper was crippled by its erroneous foundations…”

If only all F's could be so beautiful

What if they just write: You are a waste of fucking space?

My entire identity has been built upon the idea that I am not an idiot. I might not be thin, I might not be beautiful, I might not be nice, or kind or whatever, but I’ve always flattered myself that I could unpack the fuck out of a paragraph of Canadian Lit. At one time I could write a (verbose) essay about social theory. Now? Now whenever I hand something in, I worry that this will be the time they finally realize I’ve been faking it.

I do not deserve to be here.

I am unqualified.

So when I opened that email today, and saw what everyone wants to see, I was elated. But concerned, as always, because more marks have yet to be released and I could still fuck everything up. Sort of anti-satisfaction. Reminiscent of the nightmares I had over a year after graduating from U of T; stupid dreams about being caught out for plagiarism after the degree had been conferred, and then having the degree STRIPPED from me in some sort of highly public, humiliation ceremony. (Unlikely, yes?)

Right now, when I get an A, I am the A. I don’t think it’s healthy to live this way, and I don’t hold friends (or even enemies) to the same standards. When everyone else gets hard-earned B’s, I celebrate.  But at the same time there’s an aching awareness: I know if it was me, I’d be in my room, weeping about what I did wrong, wondering how I can improve, and asking myself WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE in the first place.

After a horribly embarrassing in-class admission that I feel, “unworthy of living if I don’t get an A”, it sort of struck me that THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE. And I started to wonder and worry that all of us, graduate students, postdocs, and probably all those in the academic life, are weighing our self-worth on these results.

I guess I want to believe that one day, one glorious and peaceful day, I’ll stop being my work and start owning its content.   Until then, every single solicited thesis criticism is like a boy pointing out all my stretch marks.

Fire & Rain – James Taylor{official site}

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